Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fruit basket turnover

well I can sum up my life right now in three words.....FRUIT BASKET TURNOVER.......In January we were discussing having another baby....and in February we were discussing dates for having a double mastectomy.....my how life changes.....


Here is the story:


First I want to say that Glenda saved my life......if it weren't for her finding her lump...I wouldn't have found mine

I went to Glenda's house on January 21st to visit. She had been to the doctor that day and had a mammogram and biopsied.....and they had found one lump..... When I left her house, I started thinking that maybe I need to check myselft. Us girls can say we do...but we don't check ourselves regularly....we always wait for the doctor to do it at our yearly visit. When I got home that day, I checked myself.....and low and behold I had a lump in my right breast. I couldn't believe it. I really thought maybe I was wrong. So all weekend I just kept checking to see if it was gone. I didn't even tell Billy about it. When I got up Sunday morning and it was still there...well i decided I needed to tell him. I guess I thought it would miraculously disappear...well it didn't. When I told him he just stood there in shock. I already had a doctor's visit set up Monday (Jaunuary 24) to discuss having another baby. So I went on to that visit, discussed everything, and then asked him to check the lump. Right when he felt it, he said I needed to schedule a mammogram and/or Ultrasound....whatever they would let me do at my age.....seeing that I was only 31.....


Rockdale and Newton weren't getting me into my mammogram until Feb. 9....and when I found out Glenda's results I called them back
and told them that I couldn't wait.....they better get me in somewhere.......called then the next day...and still nothing....so Billy and him mom
took charge......His mom's doc got me into Athens Regional that Friday (January 28th)........I had a mammogram (which wasn't that bad) and ultrasound........when the doc was looking at the ultrasound I just had this feeling that it wasn't good.....then she said the words that I will never
forget........"I am concerned" . She then said we could do a biopsy right then and there...my response was......go gets your tools.....let's
do it now.......

The wait to find out the results seemed like forever......Billy stayed on those doctors calling everyday to see if the results were back......it was very hard waiting because you have to remember that at this point I was teeing to deal with the fact that my sister had breast cancer.....I was struggling with that and getting myself ready to help her in any way I could......february 1st was the dreaded day..........Billy called me at the
end of the work day telling me to use an early pass to leave work......he told me that by the time I got home the doctors would be calling with my results....I had a feeling he was lying and already knew........when Jackson and I got home billy sent Jackson to his playroom....right when
Billy turned around and looked at me...I knew.....he said "it was positive"......I couldn't believe it.........he had to be lying.......and then the
tears started..and the questions of why...why us, why glenda....why why why.....then after I got myself together.....I just started calling
everyone and telling them......I just wanted to get it over with.......I spent three hours calling people.....I just really didn't want to sit there...so I did what I do best....talked and talked.........wow I was worn out when I got finished with those dreaded calls

Then the fight began............on February 2nd I was already meeting with the general surgeon after hours.....glenda was meeting with him in the next room...it sounded so good hearing her next door laughing.....so what did I do....sent a text asking what was so funny......when the surgeon came over he said he loved that.......we sat there with the doctor for 2 hours discussing all of our options.....I never felt rushed and
Billy got all of his 50 questions answered......he is my question guy...he carried a notebook to each doctors visit.....it is so bad that the
surgeon said at one visit "oh no let me get ready...there is the notebook"........

So decisions begin......really I didn't have to think about it....I knew on January 21 when I felt that lump that if it was breast cancer that I was getting these suckers taken off because I don't need them....I told Billy they didn't mean anything to me.......especially when we found out the results I wanted them off that day........Billy called dr gunn the day after we met with him telling him that I decided I wanted a double
mastectomy with reconstructive surgery...well of course I want reconstructive surgery...who wouldn't want new boobies and have insurance pay for it.....:)
Now that I had decided to do surgery the wait was on......February 17 Could not come quick enough. First i had to tell my students that i would be having to leave them for the rest of the year...wow was that last day at work hard.......Mrs. Howard and Jennifer told both of our classes the Tuesday before I was to leave. The morning of my last day was very hard. I was so upset when i got up that morning. I
Didn't know but billy had worked out a plan with Mrs. lynn to make me late for school that day....i didnt want to be late bc then that meant that jackson would be late for school...well i gave in a little but told Billy that i would only be late until 8...that way Jackson would still get to school on time......so him and Jackson took me to eat in style on that Wednesday at The Waffle House....yum yum........I was so nervous that morning about seeing my students and about my upcoming surgery that I could barely eat......I had a feeling something was up because Billy was acting weird, looking at his watch, and then stalling in the parking lot......he needs to work on his lying because he told me he saw something hanging from under my car.......i knew then something was odd...but just brushed it off bc i was so nervous. I pulled up in time for Jackson to be on time. When i walked up to the door of the school I couldnt believe what i saw.......teachers that were in the hallway had
on a shirt just for me.........i could barely make it into the building because I was crying so hard......it touched me so much that they had made
a shirt......Ward Off Cancer.....i still get teary eyed when i think about it......poor Jackson was trying to tell me bye for the day and all I could do was cry......Jennifer met me in the sign in room with a shirt for me......I think when they saw me walk in the building they called her down bc I am sure she knew how I would react to all of this.......i went and joined the crowd with my ward shirt on...then the time was there for me to face my sweet class....I could not walk into the classroom.......I was so scared to face them because now they knew...I finally got myself together and when I walked in the room they looked so sweet........I had a sea of pink in my room....there were pink shirts, pink hair, and pink ribbons that the kids were wearing. I was so touched......jennifers class looked the same way.......I feel so bad because I even gave those kids a social studies test that day....that is the only education thing we did that day...my last day consisted of crying, hugging, and pictures. Around 1 that day I decided I needed to discuss things with my class...wow that was hard.......I told the students that I did not want
to leave them....that this had hot me In the face like a ton of bricks......I was doing okay with my talk until I looked out there and saw some of them crying...it just broke my heart....my boys were crying harder than my girls.......you have to remember that I also taught acme of these
kids last year in third grade....I even tAught one student three years......so this was very hard for all of us........when it was time for the students to leave for the day.....I hugged each and every one of them as they went out the door.......after the last one left I just stood there and cried...I got myself together and went out to the buses because I wanted to see them off and let them see that I was fine......then we had a "faculty meeting".......My team got up with me in front of everyone......which if u know me u know I don't like to be up in front of a lot of
adults.......I will talk in front of kids but not my peers...I turn beet red.....well of course I was crying up there...Jennifer tried hard to present my gift but could barely talk herself.,.....also if u know me and Jennifer u know when u see one of us at work the other is not far away.....we have worked together so long we finish each others sentences...crap they moved us to fourth grade together....they can't separate us or we won't survive :).........after they presented me with my gifts we made a huge circle and a prayer was said.....it was so moving........my day ended with us taking a group picture with our pink shirts on....and by the way......I even had a male teacher dye is facial hair pink for
me........so I have a very supportive staff.......I can't say enough everything they have done for me.......and I will never be able to repay Jennifer for everything she has done...I owe her big time

So my last day of work was 2/16......and my double mastectomy was on 2/17.......I feel like i did pretty good on the way to Athens that
morning........when I got to the hospital and they said they were ready to take me back.....I lost it.......I couldn't believe they were already ready to take me back...I was thinking I would have time to sit and dwell...thank goodness I didn't........my surgery was fine......Billy and my family were the ones that had it hard because they got to play the waiting game all day......Billy said he didn't eat that day because he was so nervous. Thursday I couldn't really tell you much about that day because i was so drugged.........i do remember seeing a few visitors in and out of my morphine stooper......Billy has a wonderful story to tell about me and my morphine.......after surgery he was telling me everything went good and we were holding hands having a sweet husband wife moment.....then the nurse puts the morphine pump on my
bed....well our sweet moment was over...he said I slapped his hand away and grabbed that morphine drip and started pushing that thing...hahahhah..........

So i had surgery on the 17th......double mastectomy with eight lymph nodes being from my right underarm ...2 of which were cancerous.......which means chemo........I stayed in the hospital until The 21st.....glenda and I were the talk of the hallway with the nurses...they couldn't believe we were sisters going through the same thing a day apart......we really need to call oprah......make some money..hahahha........I can't explain how good I felt on Friday to see her being wheeled into her room.....it was like a weight lifted off me knowing that she was out of surgery.......my hospital stay wasn't bad...I had great nurses and great company..I mean who else can say when they stayed at the hospital that they could go Hang out in their sisters room to do their walking and siting in a chair....NOT Many


Those first weeks home basically consisted of resting and going back and forth from the surgeon to the plastic surgeon.......I will just say without going into details that our visits to the plastic surgeon have been almost comical with the size of the saline needles.......

I have to say I have a great husband...he has been to every single doctor visit with me....our plastic surgeon praised him bc he said he doesn't see that much.......he has held my hand through all of this......even when I am biting his head off for no reason. We have a long road ahead of us but I know it will be easier to get through with him by me.

The doctors have said I am recovering very well...of course when the plastic surgeon says everything looks good and I usually say to him....."this looks good"...hahahhaha........but seriously....I am doing good......I had a ctscan of my Neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis that came back negative...which means cancer didn't spread...my echo came back normal......and I started Chemo on March 21st.

My first treatment wasn't bad.......I felt fine the day of my treatment...I couldn't believe the "red devil" or red koolaid...was actually red going into the port..oh rah I forgot..I had to go in and get a port put in my arm for chemo...just one more thing.........During the week of my chemo I did feel yucky......but never got sick....I really think I felt sick at my stomach because of all the steroids they had me on for three days straight.....this week I haven't felt sick at all......I am still struggling with my right arm being stiff....the doctor said if I don't start to improve with being able to straighten my arm I will have to do physical therapy....I complained to Billy about that and his response was " that is nothing compared to what u have been though"...so true...I feel like I can handle anything now!

The next step is waiting to see how my body reacts to chemo...so far it has been tolerable....I am just waiting for my hair to fall out...which I am ready...I have two wigs, hats, and turbans...I am ready......bring on the baldness...Jackson said he won't be able to tell me, aunt glenda, and pop pop apart......u have to have a sense of humor to get thru all of this :)

I don't want to say that I am glad that Glenda is going through this too b/c I can't stand the fact that we are both going through it...but I am so grateful that I have her to turn to.....I can't tell you how many times I have called or sent a message on facebook saying....hey are you having this going on...or what did they tell you to do......i know that everything happens for a reason and we are going through this together so we can be each others support! and thank goodness I have her there...b/c I need it :)

I do want to thank everyone for all the support.....it has been amazing...from family to friends......from team cofer raising money to people bringing food...... many cards and calls we have gotten so far have been amazing........the outpour of love and care from everyone has really touched us......my parents have been amazing thru all of this.....they are so strong.....I don't know how they r doing it...having both daughters going thru this at the same time......I will never be able to repay everyone for their kindness....so thank u so much :) and Thank you to Billy's dad for giving me his IPAD...or I wouldn't be updating this blog as I am riding down the road....hahahah.....


5 comments:

  1. Uh, you forgot t tell about Jackson and why Aunt Glenda was at the hospital..... Jackson was told I was there to eat lunch with Melissa. So every time he came to visit he thought I was eating. Poor Kid is going to grow up thinking hospital food is the bomb!!! LOL

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  2. Yeah....we didn't want to confuse him because we had told him that cancer wasn't contagious...so we were worried that if we said "oh yeah aunt glenda has it too"....then he might get confused....so what do all good parents and aunts do.....we lie :).......I am so glad you added that...yeah poor kid....but I have to admit there must be something wrong with me because I liked it...hahah

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  3. Yall are a true testament to the love of a sister and strength. What God brings you to, he'll get you through :)

    Much love to both of you.

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  4. You are so sweet.....yes he will get us through this!

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  5. hey melissa, glad you're starting a blog. i've been blogging for a few year's now & love it. i especially love reading everyone elses. heres mine www.hollybeths.blogspot.com
    holly

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