Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! I know I did! Christmas went so smoothly this year....funny how your perspective changes. Santa brought us everything we wanted!!! Especially me and Glenda being here with everyone! the best christmas present ever! Thank you everyone for all of your support and help throughout this crazy year that we have had....it has meant so much to our whole family.

I am so excited that my Ct Scan came back good...met with oncologist yesterday and he said everything looked good.....He said the spot that was there on my lung was there when they did the first ct scan and the spot on my stomach was looking like it was from where the plastic surgeon had taken skin from my stomach. Thank goodness! I go to have another on in a year!

Yesterday Glenda and I had an interview for a lake oconee magazine...we got to sit there together and tell our story....it was alot of fun..can't wait to see that article....it probably won't come out until April....We are famous :)

I hope everyone has a great new year! I know mine will be awesome!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone got to eat lots of turkey and spend time with family. I love the holidays!!!

Monday I had my next surgery....I had my reconstructive surgery. I was so shocked that it was outpatient but was glad to be able to go home in the same day. I was in and out of there in no time. They took me back around 9 and I really can't remember what time I was headed home because I was so drugged up. I was even trying to eat crackers in the car and kept falling asleep while chewing. Billy had to keep waking me up and telling me to chew...after about 2 1/2 crackers I said it wasn't worth me getting chocked!

Recooperation has been going pretty good. I have really only hurt in my stomach area. My chest isn't even bothering me. Can't see my new boobies right now because they are all bandaged up :) Anything will be better than those tissue expanders! I am just so glad to have one more thing checked off on my list.

If you haven't seen me lately...my hair is coming back wavy. It is the funniest thing. My plastic surgeon told me Monday that he could give me some pointers on how to take care of it since he has curly hair :) I am just glad it is coming back! I have had so many people tell me I should keep the short do..so we will see.

Next up in this journey will be to have my ovaries removed...would love to have it done before the year is over but I think I will have to wait until summer break. I plan to call the doc next week to see what the recovery time is on that.

I already have three appointments scheduled the first week of Christmas break (CTscan, arthritis, oncologist,and maybe one more)...and I think you have to wait a month after this surgery to do anything...so looks like with my school year it will be easier to just plan that right at the beginning of the summer.

Well just wanted to give a quick update since I am about to go stir crazy being Lazy this week.....never thought I would say that I am tired of being lazy..but I am.....it is different when you are told to take it easy and not do anything!

hahahah...Have a great rest of your Thanksgiving day!

And as Jackson said today for his blessing "We are thankful that Mommy lost cancer"!!!

Well I am writing because I am struggling today with the fact that I can't have another child. It is very hard when your five year old says "maybe Mommy will have another baby". I know that sounds so simple to hear to most people but not to me. It is just so hard for me to know that I was going to start trying to have a second baby and then I found out I had cancer. For some reason today I am beating myself up that I waited so long to want to have another one...but I know everything happens for a reason. That is what Billy told me today..."There is a reason for all of this." But it definitely stinks! Yesterday we were just hanging out in the living room when Jackson said that and for some reason it has just stuck with me....I guess because I think about it all the time but for him to bring it up..it does sting a little. We discussed with him that I couldn't have another one but that maybe we could help out a baby that didn't have a home one day. So today please pray that I have strength to understand why things happened the way they did....I am so grateful that I have Jackson because he is the best kid! He told me today at the restaurant "Mommy I am a million times better because you are my Mommy".....man I love that child!

Pink Everywhere

Well today I went to the 3 day closing ceremonies. It was amazing to say the least. I really wish I would have participated more..next year I will. I was so proud of Penny and Jodie for walking for us. It means so much to me that they did this. I am also proud of Holli and Dana for walking. I am so impressed with Dana that she had the strength and energy to accomplish this after everything that she has gone through. My goal is to be ready next year to participate whether it be walking or working on the crew. I will be there. They raised 6 1/2 million dollars with the 3 day walk......I know that one day there will be life without cancer!!! You have to believe that things can change. I was so glad to have Jackson and Billy there with me to experience this.......

Hello Followers

Well...I am a horrible blogger...I have not written on here in forever. It has been a lot harder to get this done since I have been back to work. Life is crazy! Jackson is now playing soccer with the YMCA and he is doing pretty good. He is doing so much better than he did two years ago. He is really getting in there. They won one game and lost one game. The game they played Saturday..they won 7-0! He didn't score a goal yet. He is good at assisting and then the other player scores. It is so much fun watching him out there. He always looks over at us after a play is done and either gives a thumbs up or an arms out expression if he can't believe what just happened. I will post some pictures of his games.

I am doing good medically. Things have been calm lately. Thank goodness. Doctors appointments are pretty spread out. I have been having some trouble with my arthritis infusion not lasting the whole 8 weeks....so now they have me back on steroids until my next infusion...hopefully we can get that working again...b/c I hate being on a steriod. I will have my reconstructive surgery November 21st. I was planning to have it October during our break but I was concerned about not having enough recovery time. When I have it in November I will have the whole week to recover. I don't go to the oncologist again until December. In December I will have another CT scan mainly for mine and Billy's sanity. They usually don't do one this soon but he said we could if we wanted to. So of course we said yes! I am going to hold off on the "girl" surgeries.....I went to a new gyno and she said that she didn't recommend me having a hysterectomy but to have an ovarectomy..not sure the spelling......she said that I could do it laproscopacly (sp).....I think I will wait until the summer time though. With having such a high chance of ovarian cancer this will be a good thing to have done. With having this said.....I will not be able to have my own child again..which is heartbreaking to me since I was planning on that...but Billy and I have agreed that if we still want to have another one, we will adopt in a few years. I am just happy to have Jackson and for him to be healthy. I don't want to put myself at risk to have another and then have something happen to me.....

Well enough of that talk....

I am so happy to not have to wear a hat anymore....My class has been so great about it to. My hair is coming back in pretty fast. Excited to have my new little short do! :)

Great day

Went to the oncologist Monday and had a good visit. Set up to have new ct scan in December. He said it is not routine to do one so soon but if we wanted one for our peace of mind we could.....

I am not very happy with this new glove...don't think it works as good bc I don't think it fits right...might have to get it looked at bc I don't want to go backwards.....

We had the dove hunt today.....it was a great day.....family, food, friends, and a lot of bird shooting......we had a fun time catching up and hanging out with everyone.....it us always fun to watch! Jackson was so cute in all his camo and his bb gun....it was great watching all the kids playing.....

So excited for gland this week...tuesday is her last chemo....yay!!!!! Next step for both of us is to set up for new boobies!!! Yay for that too...

Thanks everyone for being here for us!!

Everything's falling into place

Well life is still crazy but everything seems to be falling into place. I have had a few weeks of craziness.....My arthritis came back with a vengence! The chemo actually helped my arthritis....never had any trouble the whole time with it.....and then about a month 1/2 later after ending chemo I started hurting really bad. I had alot of issues with my doctor getting back in touch with me...it came down to me doing ALOT of steroids to get it under control...then Tuesday I finally was able to get back on my rhemicade infusion that I used to do. It is the wonder drug for arthritis patients....it costs over 10,000 dollars but it is worth every penny...thanks united healthcare for paying most of that! Most of you know that mama and I were in a wreck last week....scary! I am still having trouble in the car because of that mustang hitting us. I am now very paranoid someone is not going to stop behind me..so I am holding my breath when a car comes up behind me. I didn't like that feeling of knowing that we were about to get hit and we couldn't do anything about it but hold on for the ride...and let me tell you it wasn't a fun ride! My neck is doing better. I was hurting for a few days but it has seemed to ease off. My right arm has a little twing every now and then from where I was holding on to the "oh shit" bar.....I think it will go away though..I was just glad my neck started getting better because I don't want to have problems due to this....already have enough going on as it is....this didn't help the situation....but it could have been so much worse! We are so thankful that none of us were hurt. I just knew when I saw that girl's car that she wasn't going to be getting out of it..and thank goodness she did.....
School is going good..I am getting into the rhythm of things...and I have a good class..they are a sweet class...a little talkative the last few days but I will just have to stay on them about that.....I think it is going to be a great year!
Jackson is doing great in kindergarten..he has a great teacher..Mrs. Annis...I made a really good choice for putting him in her class..he has already learned so much....so i am excited to see how much he does this year.....
Billy is doing good.....holding on for the ride while I take all these steroids...that has been fun for him..hahaha.......he brought me flowers the other day.....:)

well i will try to keep writing more.....i haven't been very good lately about updating...will post some pics soon

First Four days Down

Well I have survived the first four days of school. It is very different being back this year. A little more scattered and a little more tired! But I am getting through the days. Today around 10 it hit me how drained I was feeling. I think over time it will get better. I do feel like I am getting into the swing of things....the beginning of school is always crazy. I have a good group of kids and I really think they will be very understanding..hopefully..

I went today and go a second glove and sleeve. I have had to move up to compression class 2...which means they are tighter and will hopefully help the swelling stay down. My sleeve fit fine but my glove is being sent back because it was making my hand hurt and the fingers were too long on it. My lovely "transformer" arm is now gone and I hope I don't have to wear all that bandaging again any time soon. It made me feel 100 degrees hottter! I will just have to wear my old glove until the new one comes in. For now I have to wear the glove and sleeve for a while to make sure the swelling stays down...i don't think i will always have to wear it .....one day maybe it will be just for certain activities. I did get a lovely nightsleeve to wear at bedtime. It looks like an oven mitt all the way up to your shoulder with the fingers cut out of it..I will try to post a picture soon. Supposedly I will love the night sleeve....we will see...hahahah

Can I please move to the beach?

I just got reminded of how much I love the beach. We just got back from spending a week at Mexico beach. It was so nice to get away from my life of doctors and not do anything. Many days Billy woul have to come out to me and ask me if I was coming in yet....hahahaha. I just love the atmosphere of the beach. I love sitting, listening to the waves, and reading a book...ahhh so peaceful. Today was bam to reality.....long class for work. I can't believe I am going back to work nest Friday. Where did the summer go? I am very nervous about going back to work after being gone since February. Today wore me out and I just sat there in a class....how is my usual schedule going to drain me. I am sure once my body gets uses to the routine I will be fine. But I am not going to lie....sitting listening to all this work stuff was a little overwhelming. When the other teachers were diacussing stuff for this year I felt so out of the loop. I even felt out of place....I know that will go away when I get back in the groove. At least I hope. So my question again is....can I run away and hide at the beach? Lol



Also. ...tomorrow I start going to the lymphodema specialist to work with her on getting the swelling down on my hand...she said she will probably wrap my arm and also I will probably have to get a night garment to wear on my arm to sleep in. Good thing is I will get a massage on my arm all these days. That is how she will try to work the fluid back up my arm. Something like that. So say a prayer that she get this swelling under control bc I don't want to have to wear this sleeve and glove all the time.

Celebration

Well this part of my journey is almost over. I have about ten more minutes left of my last treatment. I am having to contain myself...I am about to jump out of my seat...if I weren't so tired and drained from the chemo and benedryl. I can't even explain how I feel right now......this day has finally come.....it has been a long eight treatments. It has been a roller coaster ride but it has been manageable. I definitely hope I don't have to go through this again and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. My journey is still not over yet. I still have a summer full of doctors and I know it will not end then. I can have my reconstruction surgery six weeks after this last dose of chemo...well that puts me back at work...so looks like I will have to wait until a school.....I feel like the big part is over though

Went last week for genetic testing.....waiting on results of that and then will go from there...possibly another surgery in my future but have to wait on those results.....

I come back to the oncologist in three weeks and he will start me on the pill I have to Take for five years as a preventative.....I have been told this is a good thing...so bring it on.....

A little confused about ctscan info...oncologists said I would do more ctscans to keep a watch but the assistant we saw today said that I wouldn't...only if I was having problems...so I am going to put that down to ask doc........

Well enough rambling for now.........have a great day everyone

Oh Hair

Well....I had to cut my hair again today....It started falling out again after this last treatment.....I know it is crazy to have to cut it this close to being finished but oh well......I went shorter this time...After I cut it I told Jackson that I had to cut my hair and that it looked crazy....he said "yeah it does"....hahahah..thank goodness for the honestly of kids

I took Jackson swimming today with my friend Heather....this was my first time in water and in a bathing suit this summer....thank goodness for kmart special big girl bathing suit.......it felt so good to be in the water...it makes this crazy heat so much better....now i want a swimming pool.....might be venturing to the Y or to Glenda's in the near future! Jackson did much better in the water....maybe the swimming lessons will pay off..not swimming yet but so much more comfortable in the water...a work in progress

You will be very jealous of the next thing I am telling you: I am going tomorrow night to see New kids on the block.....oh brings back memories.....hahahah.....i know i know..you wish you were me right now.......i will sing some tunes in your honor while I am there....hahahahahah

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

My new saying is....there is a light at the end of the tunnel......because there is......I am about to finish up my next to last treatment....my last treatment is on june 27.......yay.......I can't wait for this nightmare to be over.....I know I still have to worry about scheduling my "new boobie" surgery but that will have to wait a little while since I will be going to work when school starts.....might be spending my Christmas break recovering........like Billy said...this is just a phase in my life and it will be over soon......

Still going to physical therapy twice a week.....should finish up at the beginning of July.....I'm a little worried because my right had has stayed swollen this week....I have been wearing my lovely glove but therapist said I didn't have to wear the sleeve all the time since my hand is what is swollen.......I go back july 5th to see if any swelling has gone down...we will see

Well not much to write.....will post some swim pics of Jackson soon

Taxal tuesday

Well I am sitting here getting my taxal chemo treatment. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.......this is my sixth treatment out of eight....yay....my last treatment is June 27....I can't wait to be finished. This has definitely been a journey...one I don't want to have to do again. They told me today that I didn't need to take the premed steroids like I have been doing..that is great seeing that they make me gain more weight than I already have.....and they make me swell.....the scale is not my friend these days....I limit my scale us to docs visits...hahahah....will deal with the weight when this is all over and I get some strength back.....

Took Jackson yesterday to game time to play on the water inflatables....if u take ur kids there hope they play on more than just one of them....we have to get this kid to not be so afraid of water in his face...he better hurry up because he is about to take swimming lesson...we will see how that goes

This summer is going to be a different summer.....it is so hot outside....and I feel like all these chemicals make me even hotter....will have to find a lot of indoor activities to do with Jackson this summer...if u have any ideas please share.....

Fighting off a little cold right now I got from jackson....he made it all year almost and was absent on the next to last day of school...got a sinus infection....and I think he gave me a cold out of it...we almost made it with no sickness

Not too much to say today....just glad to have another day and just making it day by day :). Thanks for all your support

This past week

And of course I am behind....so I will catch you up on my week.....Monday I started the new chemo treatment called taxol. One of the main side effects is joint/muscle pain...can't remember if joint muscle or bone...but aching......I have done pretty good this week.....still lost my taste buds but I didn't feel the yucky sick feeling I have felt with the other medicine. I started having aching on Wednesday I believe. Thank goodness for pain pills..I tried taking tylenol but it didn't help much so I started popping lortabs.......that helped. I can handle the aching a lot more than the yucky feeling I had with the other. Today is Sunday and I am still having some aching still in my legs...hopefully it will go away soon and I can have a good week.

Friday night was such a good night.....I got to participate in Morgan county's relay for life. This is such a great experience for anyone. If you have never been to one you should go next year. We had a team this year...Team Cofer.....thanks to my mom, Kristy Jenkins and anyone else that helped with our team for relay....the spray paint hair was a hit and nails too.....thanks to Kristy's daughter and nieces for helping.....we even had some zumba go on at our tent :).........Glenda and I participated in the survivor events.....they fed us some good food and gave us some goodies...and of course those of u that know Glenda know her good luck...she won two way radios......I won zip....hahahah...I thought surely I would be drawn for the blood pressure machine...darn......I then got up and said I was three months cancer free....yay......then we walked our long and slow survivor lap......this was emotional.....I probably would have been crying as me, Glenda, and Billy's dad walked our lap but I couldn't stop laughing at Billy being a photographer and chasing us around the track taking fifty million pictures.......photography is not his strong point........at 930 we all walked the silent luminary lap.....this is also so emotional.....thanks to those that purchased luminaries in honor of me and Glenda.....and thanks to my parents for the torch......this night was very special......I am so grateful for everyones support and love through all of this.......and thanks to Glenda for being my hat partner...I don't know about u but when this is all over we need to have a hat bonfire.....hahahah......


Oh yeah I forgot...when we were walking the survivor lap....we had Jackson as our cheering team...saying....go cancer team......he is so cute

We went to Baby Miller's baptism......she is so precious......and we were so excited to be a part of this special time......now she wasn't took excited about it all which made it all more fun.....once she got off that beautiful white dress and had some snack...she was all better......then we got to celebrate her first birthday....happy birthday miller...oh and Jackson was the best
dressed little man there.....he wore his suit ...and he was stylin.....he wouldn't even change out of it at the party.....no matter how red faced and hot he got...he kept that suit on.......he is a mess......

Well say a prayer for me because Thursday and Friday I am going to go to work for the last day of school and for post planning.....I was going back tomorrow for the week and then realized that wasn't smart...so I will go the last day......I pray that the students will be good to me that day and understand...I will keep my fingers crossed...maybe I should bring some bribing candy...hahahha

Bad at blogging

Well I am bad at blogging. I haven't written anything since last Tuesday. I even forgot to do Wordless Wednesday....so I will have to post a picture today anyway. This week was a good week. I actually started feeling pretty normal.....it helps to have a week that I feel good since it seems the weeks of chemo are kind of rough. This fourth treatments wasn't bad...I was glad it wasn't like the third treatment. I am assuming the meds they gave me to take that week actually worked. Tomorrow I have my fifth treatment and the chemo meds change tomorrow. I will be starting my first round of taxal. I am a little worried because it is new and I don't know how my body with react. The doctor said that usually it gives people aching bones. I can handle that hopefully since I have already experienced that somewhat with my arthritis....I am sure it will be different. I am up for the challenge though. I only have four more treatments and this madness will be over (at least with the chemo).....

I am still continuing with my physical therapy. I have been amazed at how much it has helped with my right arm. I went in there without being out to straighten my arm and now I can straighten and lift my arm up to my ear (slowly).....They are still working on the cord in my arm that is tight....I get some massage therapy when I go to help loosen that cord....don't be jealous..it is not a fun massage....it is uncomfortable but if it works hey....bring it on.

Busy week this week: Treatment, Plastic Surgeon, 2 days of physical therapy, Possible White blood count shot, Jackson's prek cookout, Morgan County Relay for Life, Baby Miller's Christining and first birthday.....whew...I am tired just typing it all

Please say a prayer that this new medicine causes minimal side effects (hopefully it will be better than other chemo) and that I don't have to take that white blood count shot (which I feel makes me feel worse).

Oh yeah....can't remember if I posted this last time or not....I am now getting to sport a glove and sleeve to help bring down swelling in my right hand.....so when you see me you can give a little chuckle...but I know what you are thinking....."why is she honoring Micheal Jackson"....hahahah

Half Way Point

So I have some good news....I am now half way finished with my chemo....Thank goodness. I have taken now all four treatments of the A/C chemo treatment...the A has a nickname of the "red devil"..if that tells you anything. I went today and got my white blood count shot...and the nurse said that they usually don't do it with the last four treatments....let's hope that is right....one less doctor's appointment. I hope that I have a better week this week than after my last treatment....so keep your fingers crossed...so far I don't feel too bad and last time by this point I could already feel that it was different. Maybe this new medicine they gave me to try Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday will work. I go back for my next Chemo treatment on May 16th...I will start the four rounds of taxal...It is supposed to affect my joints more than anything...surely I can handle joint pain since I have had arthritis since I was 15.....we will see....bring it on! :)

I have other good news....Jackson did good on his kindergarten test...so he will be going to kindergarten test....thank goodness!!!! I can't believe he is almost finished with PreK and moving on to the next level......

He is definitely a trip....I asked him if he wanted me to print Nannie and Gambuh mother's day cards or if he wanted to make them one.....These were his words to me " You can just print them because I am going to save my energy"....Lord help us...hahah.....

Be ready tomorrow is Wordless Wednesday.....I will post some more pics! Hope everyone is having a great week to start off.....and say a prayer for me that I have a better week this week than after my third treatment! Thanks to everyone that reads my blog......:)

Fairy tale Friday

Today was such a fun day. Jackson had a fairy tale ball today at school for pre-k. Such a cute and fun idea. The kids loved it. Jackson has been waiting all week for today. We even went and bought him a suit....black pinstripes....wow he was handsome. He was all decked out.....tie....pocket thing....black dress shoes....black dress socks....his perk prom as mrs walker called it. They decorated the lunchroom with fairy tale theme. They had a red carpet for them to walk in on and then they walked through an arch. When Mrs. Walker said "Prince Jackson"...there he went down the red carpet. He was so stinking cute. I do have to say we have a dancer on our hands. While we were standing in line they had the music playing. The other prek teacher was out dancing with a little girl and next thing you know...there is Jackson getting down by himself. He didn't care. He was going to town. It was the funniest thing. He had the attention of the people around him....we tried to get him to go back again but he wouldn't since no one else was out there...guess he realized everyone was watching him. Both classes later did the cha cha slide......he had been waiting on that dance. I am so glad that I was feeling good today to be able to enjoy this fun. I even wore my wig today....I was a little uncomfortable in it...but I did get a lot of compliments. I even got to visit my kids today...it was so good to see them and to be down there at my room. Didn't stay long with them....who knows what germs they have...hahahah.....they were funny asking me their names like I would have forgotten them...I won't ever forget them :)

I will try to post ball pictures...oh yeah....we have to work with Jackson because he had two girls ask him to dance and he wouldn't.....what was he thinking...hahhaah...guess trying to play hard to get

Long Week

Well sorry I have been out of commission this past week. I had a very hard time after my third treatment. I don't know why this one was different but it made me so weak. I had days where I just had no energy to get off the sofa. I felt like I was sinking into the sofa. It was not a good feeling. I really hope I don't feel like that again. I felt so bad that I didn't even go to the Easter Egg Drop on Saturday. If you know me, you know that I would not miss a picture opportunity! So I was defnitely feeling bad! I hope Nannie took pictures :) Yesterday I did venture out for Easter. I felt a little better but it was a very draining day. It was good to get out and see everyone after having such a rough week. And of course I took lots of pictures of Jackson :) I woke up today and I feel much better. Thank goodness. I still feel a little weak but nothing like I felt last week. I had my third physical therapy and I can already tell a difference in my right arm....Glenda you need to join me in physical therapy.....might as well....we have everything else close to the same ;)......You know you want to....just add that one more doctor to the list like me. The physical therapists have been great...I wish I could say that the deep tissue massage the do on my right arm is enjoyable but it is not a fun massage. I have two cords that have tightened up under my arm and they are loosening them up. Yeah I know it is as fun as it sounds. But it does work. I can now straigten my right arm and I think I am down to one cord being the problem. And it is farther up my arm now instead of at the bend of my arm. Not sure if any of this make sense....I feel like I have chemo brain these days...yes it is a real thing. I think I might have given it to Billy too! hahaha

Well I am not really digging this hat thing.....I am already tired of wearing hats....today I even ventured into the Georgia baseball cap.......I don't see how people wear baseball caps all the time. The bill is driving me crazy! Billy and the physical therapist said it looked cute. I tried to wear my wig Sunday and gave up on it looking right....I was also sweating so I just decided to go with a hat again....I am not the hat girl! Jackson even drew a picture the other day of me...and Mrs. Walker said at the end he say "OH I have to draw mommy's hat!"....Maybe I will play around with the wig again......

Well I have just rambled today ...not much to say except I was feel very bad last week and am finally feeling like myself again.....please keep the prayers coming for me and Glenda....WE still have 5 more treatments to go.

Oh yeah...and Billy has pulled his back out.......just adding to the fun times!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Bring on the baldness

I have had a change of course these last few days......cancer patient is now slapping me in the face. I know I don't have cancer anymore because all the tests say it.....but I am now dealing with the chemo side effects....I have finally truly started losing my hair. For a few days it seemed normal.....random hairs coming out when I would put my hand through my hair. Well yesterday it really started......I can't even touch my head with many, many hairs coming out......ahhhh it is so gross......I see now why women go get their head shaved........everywhere I turn I am having to pick hair off.......I might have to go get a short hair cut like Glenda did today. Not sure how much longer I can take my hair coming out like this and it just started happening. I even resorted to wearing a hair net today to keep my hair from going all over the place.....only Glenda saw that pic..sorry not posting it......looked like I was ready to go rob a bank....it was scary looking......

I think Billy has now done it all......he vacuumed my back with the dust buster....lol.....found out that the lint brush works better

I am so excited today Jackson is coming back from Texas...he should be here any minute...he has been gone a week........he better be ready for lots of hugs and kisses.........hopefully my hair problems won't scare him...crap he said he would have trouble telling me, aunt glenda, and pop pop apart...so he might be shocked I still have hair....that kid is a trip........will post Texas pics soon

So people if you want to go out to eat with me coming up or to hang out with me you might want to bring your dust buster ....beware of falling hair...hahhahahah

I won't let go

This song is so perfect for my life right now....it is a very touching song and means so much.

http://www.cmt.com/videos/rascal-flatts/599179/wont-let-go-from-invitation-only.jhtml?artist=710215#fbid=YZ37_ZI13gn

Wordless Wednesday

I still have hair

Today is day 15 since my first chemo treatment. They said I would probably start losing my hair on day 7 or day 14. I know the inevitable will happen. I am to the point where if it is going to come out I wish it would start. Maybe I will get lucky. But if I lose my hair that is the least of my worries.

I went yesterday for treatment number two. So far so good. I guess I will never get used to one of the chemo meds being red! It is still very hard walking into that treatment area and seeing so many people going through the same thing I am. I really which they could find a cure for this. It is becoming too common. I got to my appointment at 1:15 and didn't get taken back to the treatment room until 2:30. I was one of the last patients to leave at 5:30. My next treatment is on April 18 and it is not until 2:10. So I will probably be even later getting out. I tried to get it for a morning time but they said I was considered a "short treatment....which Is a good thing...so I will suck it up and take my afternoon appointment.

I am kind of dreading this week because my first week of treatment was manageable but I felt so yucky all week. I can already tell a little bit of a difference today. I am still feeling good but I keep having a watery mouth and feeling like I need something in my mouth. Oh and these steroids...man they are making me so puffy and flushed. Yesterday I told Billy I felt puffing and he said "not to be mean...but u r puffy."...hahaha...glad he can be honest with me. I go tomorrow to take my white blood cell shot to help boost my white blood count. It has the possibility of making me feel bad. Crazy how these medicines work...you take one medicine to help one thing and it can cause other problems. I am taking a medicine to help with nausea and it can cause drowsiness, headache, and dizziness.....kind of funny in a way.

I went today to see my plastic surgeon for my saline injection...got to get these muscles stretched so I can get some new boobies in the future :). He was concerned about my right arm...so now I have to go see a physical therapist....just adding another doctor to the mix. Like Billy said..this is nothing compared to what we have been through. I don't go there until April 18...so maybe it will have loosened up,..I am having trouble straightening my right arm...I can use it but a lot of stuff I do with my arm I use it bent..but when I try to straighten it my veins in my bend of my arm bulge out like they are being pulled. So I guess I do need some therapy......with everything I have been through what is one more doctors appointment....if it gets me better BRING IT ON!!!!!

I have an AVON website now

Www.youravon.com/wardmelissa

Visit to Burge Plantation

Yesterday we went to Burge Plantation for Jennifer and Brian's wedding rehearsal. This was the first time I have been back there since our wedding day on June 26, 2004. It is so pretty out there. I can't believe Billy and I have been married for six years now...closer to 7......and have a 5 year old.....wow how times flies......The whole time I was there I was picturing our day and how beautiful it was that day.....I can't wait to see the wedding today...I know it will be so pretty....I love weddings! AND I AM VERY EXCITED THAT I STILL HAVE HAIR FOR THE WEDDING..yay....wow the things that make me excited these days......

During the rehearsal Jackson came up to me and asked the funniest thing: "Mommy is daddy getting married to someone else"....hahahahh ...kids are so cute :)

Of course I have pictures of Jackson attached.....The ones of him in the grass between the trees is where we had our ceremony.....The one of him at the house is where we took our pictures and where I came out of the house with Daddy....and then I just knew he would look handsome in the rocking chair

I am a Sales Woman Now

So.....I decided the other day while I was sitting at home doing nothing (which is what I do these days when I am not at the doctor).........I want to sell avon....I know you are thinking...

"Is this girl crazy with what she is going through right now to start something new?"

It just hit me the other day that I have always liked buying Avon and Mama has always bought Avon.....why not sell it? One reason I decided was because they have items that go 100% to Breast Cancer Research......I have always supported and been on a Relay For Life team.....but now I definitely want to make sure I can get any money I can to research for this horrible disease..and to help others out there so maybe they can find something so someone else won't have to go through what me and Glenda are going through.

So today I met with Kristin Sorensen and the District Rep at Edwin Bean..which by the way is a neat little coffee shop and bistro in Covington. I got there at 11:30 and didn't leave until after 1:00.....It was alot of fun...I got a campfire mocha and a chicken sandwich...yum.....

They discussed all the sales stuff and how to get started....and I even had to write down my goals and 50 people I would sell to...I know....50 people...but guess what..I was able to come up with that many people....which they are all of you that are reading....so be ready....I have your name down...hahah...especially you Glenda...hahahah

Hey...I might even start recruiting some of you to sell under me b/c I can make money off of you......but then you wouldn't buy from me :(

I have my labels made and about to put on the books...and soon I will have my own Avon website....woohoo.....

So if you are reading and want some Avon....Call me......I can get you a book or when I get the website up, I will post and you can order from there

Wordless Wednesday

Okay..I know I have already posted today but I want to start Wordless Wednesday..I am stealing this from Tara :) I will post a picture or pictures on Wednesday that need no words! :)

Fruit basket turnover

well I can sum up my life right now in three words.....FRUIT BASKET TURNOVER.......In January we were discussing having another baby....and in February we were discussing dates for having a double mastectomy.....my how life changes.....

Here is the story:

First I want to say that Glenda saved my life......if it weren't for her finding her lump...I wouldn't have found mine

I went to Glenda's house on January 21st to visit. She had been to the doctor that day and had a mammogram and biopsied.....and they had found one lump..... When I left her house, I started thinking that maybe I need to check myselft. Us girls can say we do...but we don't check ourselves regularly....we always wait for the doctor to do it at our yearly visit. When I got home that day, I checked myself.....and low and behold I had a lump in my right breast. I couldn't believe it. I really thought maybe I was wrong. So all weekend I just kept checking to see if it was gone. I didn't even tell Billy about it. When I got up Sunday morning and it was still there...well i decided I needed to tell him. I guess I thought it would miraculously disappear...well it didn't. When I told him he just stood there in shock. I already had a doctor's visit set up Monday (Jaunuary 24) to discuss having another baby. So I went on to that visit, discussed everything, and then asked him to check the lump. Right when he felt it, he said I needed to schedule a mammogram and/or Ultrasound....whatever they would let me do at my age.....seeing that I was only 31.....

Rockdale and Newton weren't getting me into my mammogram until Feb. 9....and when I found out Glenda's results I called them back
and told them that I couldn't wait.....they better get me in somewhere.......called then the next day...and still nothing....so Billy and him mom
took charge......His mom's doc got me into Athens Regional that Friday (January 28th)........I had a mammogram (which wasn't that bad) and ultrasound........when the doc was looking at the ultrasound I just had this feeling that it wasn't good.....then she said the words that I will never
forget........"I am concerned" . She then said we could do a biopsy right then and there...my response was......go gets your tools.....let's
do it now.......

The wait to find out the results seemed like forever......Billy stayed on those doctors calling everyday to see if the results were back......it was very hard waiting because you have to remember that at this point I was teeing to deal with the fact that my sister had breast cancer.....I was struggling with that and getting myself ready to help her in any way I could......february 1st was the dreaded day..........Billy called me at the
end of the work day telling me to use an early pass to leave work......he told me that by the time I got home the doctors would be calling with my results....I had a feeling he was lying and already knew........when Jackson and I got home billy sent Jackson to his playroom....right when
Billy turned around and looked at me...I knew.....he said "it was positive"......I couldn't believe it.........he had to be lying.......and then the
tears started..and the questions of why...why us, why glenda....why why why.....then after I got myself together.....I just started calling
everyone and telling them......I just wanted to get it over with.......I spent three hours calling people.....I just really didn't want to sit there...so I did what I do best....talked and talked.........wow I was worn out when I got finished with those dreaded calls

Then the fight began............on February 2nd I was already meeting with the general surgeon after hours.....glenda was meeting with him in the next room...it sounded so good hearing her next door laughing.....so what did I do....sent a text asking what was so funny......when the surgeon came over he said he loved that.......we sat there with the doctor for 2 hours discussing all of our options.....I never felt rushed and
Billy got all of his 50 questions answered......he is my question guy...he carried a notebook to each doctors visit.....it is so bad that the
surgeon said at one visit "oh no let me get ready...there is the notebook"........

So decisions begin......really I didn't have to think about it....I knew on January 21 when I felt that lump that if it was breast cancer that I was getting these suckers taken off because I don't need them....I told Billy they didn't mean anything to me.......especially when we found out the results I wanted them off that day........Billy called dr gunn the day after we met with him telling him that I decided I wanted a double
mastectomy with reconstructive surgery...well of course I want reconstructive surgery...who wouldn't want new boobies and have insurance pay for it.....:)
Now that I had decided to do surgery the wait was on......February 17 Could not come quick enough. First i had to tell my students that i would be having to leave them for the rest of the year...wow was that last day at work hard.......Mrs. Howard and Jennifer told both of our classes the Tuesday before I was to leave. The morning of my last day was very hard. I was so upset when i got up that morning. I
Didn't know but billy had worked out a plan with Mrs. lynn to make me late for school that day....i didnt want to be late bc then that meant that jackson would be late for school...well i gave in a little but told Billy that i would only be late until 8...that way Jackson would still get to school on time......so him and Jackson took me to eat in style on that Wednesday at The Waffle House....yum yum........I was so nervous that morning about seeing my students and about my upcoming surgery that I could barely eat......I had a feeling something was up because Billy was acting weird, looking at his watch, and then stalling in the parking lot......he needs to work on his lying because he told me he saw something hanging from under my car.......i knew then something was odd...but just brushed it off bc i was so nervous. I pulled up in time for Jackson to be on time. When i walked up to the door of the school I couldnt believe what i saw.......teachers that were in the hallway had
on a shirt just for me.........i could barely make it into the building because I was crying so hard......it touched me so much that they had made
a shirt......Ward Off Cancer.....i still get teary eyed when i think about it......poor Jackson was trying to tell me bye for the day and all I could do was cry......Jennifer met me in the sign in room with a shirt for me......I think when they saw me walk in the building they called her down bc I am sure she knew how I would react to all of this.......i went and joined the crowd with my ward shirt on...then the time was there for me to face my sweet class....I could not walk into the classroom.......I was so scared to face them because now they knew...I finally got myself together and when I walked in the room they looked so sweet........I had a sea of pink in my room....there were pink shirts, pink hair, and pink ribbons that the kids were wearing. I was so touched......jennifers class looked the same way.......I feel so bad because I even gave those kids a social studies test that day....that is the only education thing we did that day...my last day consisted of crying, hugging, and pictures. Around 1 that day I decided I needed to discuss things with my class...wow that was hard.......I told the students that I did not want
to leave them....that this had hot me In the face like a ton of bricks......I was doing okay with my talk until I looked out there and saw some of them crying...it just broke my heart....my boys were crying harder than my girls.......you have to remember that I also taught acme of these
kids last year in third grade....I even tAught one student three years......so this was very hard for all of us........when it was time for the students to leave for the day.....I hugged each and every one of them as they went out the door.......after the last one left I just stood there and cried...I got myself together and went out to the buses because I wanted to see them off and let them see that I was fine......then we had a "faculty meeting".......My team got up with me in front of everyone......which if u know me u know I don't like to be up in front of a lot of
adults.......I will talk in front of kids but not my peers...I turn beet red.....well of course I was crying up there...Jennifer tried hard to present my gift but could barely talk herself.,.....also if u know me and Jennifer u know when u see one of us at work the other is not far away.....we have worked together so long we finish each others sentences...crap they moved us to fourth grade together....they can't separate us or we won't survive :).........after they presented me with my gifts we made a huge circle and a prayer was said.....it was so moving........my day ended with us taking a group picture with our pink shirts on....and by the way......I even had a male teacher dye is facial hair pink for
me........so I have a very supportive staff.......I can't say enough everything they have done for me.......and I will never be able to repay Jennifer for everything she has done...I owe her big time

So my last day of work was 2/16......and my double mastectomy was on 2/17.......I feel like i did pretty good on the way to Athens that
morning........when I got to the hospital and they said they were ready to take me back.....I lost it.......I couldn't believe they were already ready to take me back...I was thinking I would have time to sit and dwell...thank goodness I didn't........my surgery was fine......Billy and my family were the ones that had it hard because they got to play the waiting game all day......Billy said he didn't eat that day because he was so nervous. Thursday I couldn't really tell you much about that day because i was so drugged.........i do remember seeing a few visitors in and out of my morphine stooper......Billy has a wonderful story to tell about me and my morphine.......after surgery he was telling me everything went good and we were holding hands having a sweet husband wife moment.....then the nurse puts the morphine pump on my
bed....well our sweet moment was over...he said I slapped his hand away and grabbed that morphine drip and started pushing that thing...hahahhah..........

So i had surgery on the 17th......double mastectomy with eight lymph nodes being from my right underarm ...2 of which were cancerous.......which means chemo........I stayed in the hospital until The 21st.....glenda and I were the talk of the hallway with the nurses...they couldn't believe we were sisters going through the same thing a day apart......we really need to call oprah......make some money..hahahha........I can't explain how good I felt on Friday to see her being wheeled into her room.....it was like a weight lifted off me knowing that she was out of surgery.......my hospital stay wasn't bad...I had great nurses and great company..I mean who else can say when they stayed at the hospital that they could go Hang out in their sisters room to do their walking and siting in a chair....NOT Many


Those first weeks home basically consisted of resting and going back and forth from the surgeon to the plastic surgeon.......I will just say without going into details that our visits to the plastic surgeon have been almost comical with the size of the saline needles.......

I have to say I have a great husband...he has been to every single doctor visit with me....our plastic surgeon praised him bc he said he doesn't see that much.......he has held my hand through all of this......even when I am biting his head off for no reason. We have a long road ahead of us but I know it will be easier to get through with him by me.

The doctors have said I am recovering very well...of course when the plastic surgeon says everything looks good and I usually say to him....."this looks good"...hahahhaha........but seriously....I am doing good......I had a ctscan of my Neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis that came back negative...which means cancer didn't spread...my echo came back normal......and I started Chemo on March 21st.

My first treatment wasn't bad.......I felt fine the day of my treatment...I couldn't believe the "red devil" or red koolaid...was actually red going into the port..oh rah I forgot..I had to go in and get a port put in my arm for chemo...just one more thing.........During the week of my chemo I did feel yucky......but never got sick....I really think I felt sick at my stomach because of all the steroids they had me on for three days straight.....this week I haven't felt sick at all......I am still struggling with my right arm being stiff....the doctor said if I don't start to improve with being able to straighten my arm I will have to do physical therapy....I complained to Billy about that and his response was " that is nothing compared to what u have been though"...so true...I feel like I can handle anything now!

The next step is waiting to see how my body reacts to chemo...so far it has been tolerable....I am just waiting for my hair to fall out...which I am ready...I have two wigs, hats, and turbans...I am ready......bring on the baldness...Jackson said he won't be able to tell me, aunt glenda, and pop pop apart......u have to have a sense of humor to get thru all of this :)

I don't want to say that I am glad that Glenda is going through this too b/c I can't stand the fact that we are both going through it...but I am so grateful that I have her to turn to.....I can't tell you how many times I have called or sent a message on facebook saying....hey are you having this going on...or what did they tell you to do......i know that everything happens for a reason and we are going through this together so we can be each others support! and thank goodness I have her there...b/c I need it :)

I do want to thank everyone for all the support.....it has been amazing...from family to friends......from team cofer raising money to people bringing food...... many cards and calls we have gotten so far have been amazing........the outpour of love and care from everyone has really touched us......my parents have been amazing thru all of this.....they are so strong.....I don't know how they r doing it...having both daughters going thru this at the same time......I will never be able to repay everyone for their kindness....so thank u so much :) and Thank you to Billy's dad for giving me his IPAD...or I wouldn't be updating this blog as I am riding down the road....hahahah.....

The Start of Something New

Well...I am going to attempt to have a blog....I do everything else technology related....so why not a blog.....just hang in there with me as I get the hang of this...I am not much of a writer but I really wanted to give everyone the option to follow along with us as we go on this new journey we have started.......so enjoy :)